St Berry Bits and Bytes
by bouquineuse
Summary: A collection of Jesse and/or Rachel short one shots/drabbles.
1. The Tale of IT

_**Author's Note**: **I've decided to post various short one-shots/drabbles under one heading. **  
_

_**The tale of IT. A St. Berry Care Bear Fairytale**. _

_(First written for a St. Berry Week Challenge. Slightly revised.)  
_

If anyone would have told Jesse that he'd be packing IT with him wherever he moved to, he would have told them they had lost their minds. But the fact was, wherever he lived, IT came to live too. Once, he had actually stuffed IT into his waste paper basket (that was the day after the "Run Joey Run" humiliation when he'd demanded that Rachel return IT to him.) But then he'd had second thoughts and retrieved IT the following morning, merely banning the care bear to his bedroom closet. A few weeks later IT was quietly retrieved from that dark space to sit upon his bed.

After the egging incident, Jess had actually shed real tears into the care bear's soft plushy fur, while trying to convince IT (and himself) that he'd had to do the egging in order to maintain his status with Vocal Adrenaline. He hadn't been able to explain his reasons satisfactorily and every time he looked at IT, he felt shame and guilt and loss. So back into the closet IT went.

Before he moved onto campus in LA, Jesse had the blue care bear cleaned and put into a plastic gift bag, which he then smuggled into his dorm room. He pretended he had just bought IT for his girlfriend back home and would give the bear to her as a surprise when next he saw her (at least that's what he told his friends when they chanced upon IT.)

After failing college, Jesse returned to Ohio, and of course IT came too. He filled the care bear's ears with his guilt and his thoughts before he finally got up the nerve to apologize to Rachel. For a short time Jesse was happy, and he'd tell IT about all the plans he had for New York with Rachel and their future on Broadway. Then the kiss at Nationals happened. Jesse would have given IT away immediately after that, but he had left the bear back in Ohio, and by the time he returned home he was once again unable to bring himself to totally sever the tie, so he kept IT.

One day he saw another one just like IT, only in the color pink. The bear made him think of Rachel and on a whim he bought the pink care bear and sent it to her in care of her Dads' address. All he wrote on the card accompanying the gift were the words "to Rachel from J., who will always care." He never heard back from her, but he didn't expect to as he hadn't put a return address (besides, he expected she'd married Hudson by then.)

Over the following years, IT was relegated to a storage closet in whatever apartment Jesse was living in. He rarely looked at or thought of IT, because if he did, then he would remember and remembering made him feel things that still hurt. But one day, IT came out of storage. Jesse was moving to a loft and the realtor had told him to make his current apartment look like a suitable home for a family with a child in order to attract more potential buyers. So on the day the realtor was showing his apartment he put his trophies from childhood on a shelf in spare room, placed IT on the bed, then left the apartment prior to the viewings.

When he returned he was surprised to find the realtor still there. She told him he had an interested buyer, and they would be back shortly. Twenty minutes later Jesse opened the door to find a petite brunette with large expressive brown eyes standing at his door clutching a slightly worn pink care bear.

Rachel never did buy the apartment. Instead she and Jesse live very happily in the loft he bought, which has plenty of room for them, their twins and the two care bears that adorn the children's nursery.


	2. Hello 12, Hello 13, Hello Heart

**Author's note: Inspired by the release of the deleted scene from season 1.  
**

**Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Heart**

Jesse drove home on an emotional high. When he'd agreed to befriend Rachel, as per his coach's request, he had expected to be somewhat bored by the experience; quite certain that it would be a true test of his abilities as an actor to convincingly fake interest in the younger girl. What he hadn't expected at all was for said younger girl to be as obsessed about Broadway and singing, to be as knowledgeable, driven and talented, as he was. It was exhilarating!

Now, as Jesse pulled into his driveway and turned off the ignition, he let his head loll back against the leather headrest and considered matters in more detail. Yes, Rachel Berry had indeed been a complete surprise. The first time they'd met she had been shy and barely spoke, which had led him to misjudge both her conversational skills and her intelligence. Tonight had been a total revelation. He'd discovered that they had so much in common, so much to talk about (and sing about), and it made his heart race in a most unusual way.

Jesse tapped his fingers on the steering wheel in time to the music in his head and replayed the night's events once more. A grin split his face as he remembered their jostling for mirror time, the way she had grabbed the other hair brush and met his performance note for note. His heart jolted then sped up whenever he recalled the feel of her in his arms when he'd spun her around, or the sensation of her lips pressed against his.

No, befriending her would not be a test or hardship at all. But now Jesse was craving more than that - much, much more. He couldn't get the scent of her hair, or the feel of her silky skin, or the taste of those soft lips out of his mind. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so free, so alive or so happy and he wasn't about to give up these feelings anytime soon.

It was no longer just about what Shelby wanted, it was about what Jesse needed. It was both heady and a bit terrifying to think that what he might need most was a certain Rachel Berry. He resolutely squashed that thought for the moment, not wanting to consider too closely just what these feelings might mean for Jesse St. James, the boy everyone said was a heartless, soulless automaton. Instead he set his mind to the pleasurable task of planning his next date with the intriguing Rachel Berry.


	3. Best Laid Plans

**Author's Note: Jesse's viewpoint of what happened the night of the Wiggles Concert.**

**Best Laid Plans**

Jesse stormed into the house and slammed the heavy oak door shut behind him. Taking the steps of the ornate spiral staircase two at a time he made straight for his room. Although his parents were away (again), and the hired staff had retired for the evening, he nonetheless quickly closed and locked the bedroom door before throwing himself onto his king-sized bed. The sexual frustration of an hour ago had abated, but the anger still simmered. He just didn't know if he was angrier with himself or with Rachel.

Their date had started out with such promise. Granted, the Wiggles concert had not been his first choice by any means, but they had used it as an exercise in critiquing performance and stage management/production values. A live performance was after all a live performance and they could learn from it.

Since the show started and ended fairly early, after a quick snack they had stopped off at an arcade on their way back from Columbus. Rachel had then proceeded to thrash him at skee ball. He didn't really mind though because she'd been so adorably excited and thrilled by her victory. Her ecstatic hug and the kiss that followed had rapidly healed his slightly bruised ego, and Rachel had even gifted him with her prize, a blue care bear. (A care bear which currently resided in her bedroom where he'd left it after this evening's "making out" fiasco.)

Yes, everything had been going so well! They'd sung show tunes the rest of the way home and after arriving at her house they'd gone straight up to her bedroom. With her Dads away they had had the house all to themselves and Jesse wasn't one to miss an opportunity like that to make out.

Things had heated up very quickly. Rachel was beautiful, and passionate, and such a quick study that he'd rapidly forgotten she was still only fifteen and likely inexperienced. He'd totally let his hormones override his thought process, and then he'd had to go and utter those four words: "it's no big deal." That had killed the moment really fast, leaving him still totally turned on and with no release in sight. He doubted she even realized why he'd been so short-tempered and abrupt in his departure.

Jesse tugged both hands through his hair and groaned. Rachel just wasn't like any girl he'd ever met. She was talented and hot, but also sweet and naive. She wasn't an Andrea or Giselle or any of the Carmel girls who were only too eager to sleep with him because he was "The" Jesse St. James. He'd been an idiot! For someone with drama practically written into her genetic code, of course having sex would be a big deal, especially her first time. The very fact that she wasn't easy, or swayed by his status, left him bemused, intrigued and frustrated as hell.

Well, he would just have to rethink matters. Jesse had never needed to coerce a girl to have sex and he wasn't about to start now. Someone like Rachel needed (or rather - deserved) epic romance, not a quick heated tumble between the sheets. It was going to take all his acting skills and plenty of self-control but he could restrain his libido and play it cool.

Jesse chewed his lip thoughtfully. then frowned. It would likely mean a lot of cold showers in his future. He sat up and quickly swung his long legs off the bed. He might as well start with one right now because he was going to need a clear, focused mind to formulate a new strategy.


	4. Decisions

**Author's note: As always my thanks to those who read, review, follow, fav... and to those that I cannot pm back (like Lynne25), I'll express my thanks here.  
**

**This is something I started writing in season three when Rachel got engaged and we knew Jesse was returning as VA's coach but knew nothing more. I never published this one, instead I ended up writing Jesse's Girl. But there are parts of this one I like, and I rewrote a bit of it and I'm posting it under St. Berry Bits & Bytes. As usual all mistakes are mine, the characters are not.  
**

**Decisions**

"Okay, everyone, that's it for tonight. I want everyone back here at 6:00 am sharp!"

The exhausted members of Vocal Adrenaline gave a collective groan as they hobbled off the stage, too exhausted to even talk amongst themselves.

Jesse began collecting his notes together and, without looking up, casually asked "Learn anything useful to report back to New Directions, Berry?"

Rachel barely subdued a gasp of surprise before replying "How did you know I was here?"

"Rachel, I always know when you're near. It appears to be some persistent side effect from falling in love with you."

"Oh." At those words, Rachel felt a wave of guilt sweep over her, and she began to regret her impulse of coming to Carmel to talk to Jesse. But it was too late to back out now, she was already here. So, she stood up, straightened her shoulders and continued. "I heard you were now working with Vocal Adrenaline. I admit I was a bit surprised. I thought you were going to try college again."

"I was. But this job came up and I really couldn't turn the opportunity down. This way I add to my portfolio, make some money, and brush up my academic skills before I start college in New York this fall."

"You're going to college in New York?" Rachel knew she shouldn't be shocked, it was a given that Jesse would feel the same way about New York as she and Kurt did. After all, Broadway was as much in his blood as it was in hers. But for months now she'd studiously managed to avoid the idea of Jesse and her both being in New York at the same time. It always made her stomach do funny flips if she thought about it.

"Yes. I just had to decide which offer I'd accept."

"You had several offers." Rachel repeated bleakly.

Jesse, who had barely looked at Rachel, now turned and regarded her with a smirk. "Of course. My talent speaks for itself. I applied at several theatre and arts colleges. I'm sure you did the same. I mean, after all, you're the most detail, goal oriented person I've ever met. You always have charts and plans for everything months in advance."

Rachel swallowed hard and picked at some non-existent lint on the sleeve of her red cardigan. Yes, she had been like that about her career plans, at least until her junior year. She'd spent the better part of that year making plans and charts on how to get Finn back, instead of working towards her goals of stardom. Now she was part way through her senior year and she'd been so busy worrying about Kurt's chances and boosting Finn's self-esteem that she'd failed to make any contingency plans to apply to other colleges besides NYADA. She couldn't bring herself to admit to Jesse just how sidetracked she'd become and so she was relieved when he resumed speaking.

"Of course most of those plans you made appear to have just been a waste of your time."

At the obvious note of derision that had crept into his voice, a bit of her former self awakened and Rachel fairly bristled with indignation. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that, despite all your talk of heading to New York and becoming a big star on Broadway, I've heard that you're rushing to get married before you even graduate from high school. You know, I truly believed that your playing the parts of Evita, Funny Girl and Laurie on Broadway before sold-out crowds was an inevitability." Jesse shook his head sadly. "I guess I was wrong; your obsession with Finn Hudson has changed you."

As Rachel took a deep breath in preparation of launching into a vehement tirade of denial Jesse quickly preempted her impending outburst. "May I please finish? I expect we'll both be too busy at Nationals to talk at all, and after that I doubt we'll ever meet again."

Rachel's words died a swift death in her throat, not because of Jesse's demand for her to let him finish, but because of his words of their never meeting again. She felt like she'd been punched in the stomach with no air left to breath, let alone speak.

Jesse decisively snapped his designer briefcase shut, then turned his full attention upon her. She shivered inadvertently as his intense gaze seemed to bore right into her soul. "You aren't the Rachel I once knew; you've lost your focus. I know you really believe that you'll still pursue your dreams, but for the first while you'll be far too preoccupied with being the perfect wife for Hudson and supporting whatever his "dream of the week" is. A year will pass, and then another. Your plans will keep getting postponed and before you know it there will be a bunch of snotty nosed baby Finchel's running around keeping you busy, and you'll be just another bored middle-aged wife in the suburbs." He scooped up his briefcase in one smooth motion and walked directly over to Rachel.

"If Finn **really** loved you and wanted the best for you, he'd have waited to propose. I was going to wait until your first big role off Broadway." Jesse reached out to tuck a stray lock of hair behind her ear, then let his fingers trace the smooth line of her jaw briefly for one last time. He dropped his hand back to his side, a look of regret etched upon his face. "I hope you'll be happy in your cookie cutter life. I hope it's worth the dreams you're giving up." With that he gently brushed his lips against her forehead and whispered "You could have had it all. Good-bye, Rachel." Then he turned and strode swiftly away. By the time Rachel had broken out of her shocked stupor, he was already gone.

That night Rachel was beset by dreams that kept her tossing and turning. When she awoke, the disturbing images of her being nine months pregnant while trying to cope with two-year old screaming twins (and at the same time trying to balance the household budget) were still fresh in her mind.

She continued distracted throughout the next day. Kurt, Mercedes and Quinn all questioned her about it but she brushed off their concerns. Finn didn't seem to notice at all. He was too busy telling her about some game on television the previous evening. When he had then proceeded to suggest they go over to her place after school and make out, she had so not been in the mood and told him so. He'd mumbled something about "was it that time of the month again already?" and he'd sort of sulked the rest of the day.

Lying in bed later that night, unable to sleep, Rachel finally gave up and reached over to turn on the light. She needed to make some decisions and so she picked up her favorite pen and notebook, and started writing. Two hours later she had eight pages filled out, and each page had a pros and a cons column. She'd first started with a page about marrying now versus marrying after college, then one about marrying and staying in Lima for a year versus marrying and going straight to New York. From there it had progressed to marrying Finn versus marrying Jesse. (She blamed that on Jesse, because she hadn't been able to get his words about his proposing to her out of her head.) That had then somehow evolved into comparing them as boyfriends. Finn had scored very poorly on that. Even though Jesse had at first only pretended to be her boyfriend, she knew now by his actions since his apology that it hadn't been all an act. Jesse knew her, and still he loved her. He wasn't threatened by her ambition and talent, he didn't need constant reassurance from her for his ego, and he never looked at other girls the way he looked at her.

Now she was working on her final page - one that compared their skill as lovers. It was unfortunate, she thought to herself, that she was unable to fully compare Jesse to Finn in that regard. Her research was sadly incomplete. However, the very fact that she was now feeling disappointed that she hadn't slept with Jesse when she'd had the chance to was in itself rather disturbing. Rachel gnawed on the end of her pen and renamed the page. She'd just compare their kisses and other demonstrations of affection.

Jesse liked physical contact but it wasn't necessarily a sexual contact. He just seemed to like having her in his arms, and he'd often use touch as a means of reassurance or concern. He made her feel cherished. The last few times they had kissed, his kisses had been gentle, restrained, but still full of (for lack of a better word) love. When they had first dated however, his kisses had been very passionate and they'd terrified her by their intensity, by the way they made her almost lose control. Thinking about them now though didn't create the same reaction in her at all! His kisses were, well, Rachel found herself blushing just thinking about them. She remembered with longing the intoxicating feel of his body on hers, the way his hands skimmed her legs, the hot, heady pressure of his lips on hers...

Rachel pushed the papers off her bed and onto the floor in disgust. Quickly turning off her light she sharply reprimanded herself for thinking about Jesse like this when she had agreed to marry Finn. Finally exhausted by her mental endeavors she fell asleep. But this night all her dreams were of making passionate love with Jesse, in an empty theater, on a darkened stage, after their starring together in a sold out Broadway show.


	5. Bad Dream

Rachel sat bolt upright, her heart pounding in her chest as if she'd run a marathon. Quickly she put on her bedside lamp and turned to gaze at the man sleeping next to her. A huge sigh of relief escaped her lungs at the sight that met her eyes. To reassure herself further she slipped out of their ornate king-sized bed and padded over to the display case in the adjoining library/office room. Flicking on the display lights, Rachel noted that her Grammy, Jesse's Oscar, and their pair of Tonys, along with their awards from their show choir competitions were safe and intact. Content with her findings, Rachel returned to the bed. As she burrowed under the bedcovers once more, she turned on her side and began running her fingers lightly through Jesse's curls. Even if it had only been a nightmare she needed to discuss it or she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep.

Jesse slowly opened his eyes and a frown of concern formed on his brow. "What's the matter Rachel?" he mumbled sleepily.

"Jesse! I had the most horrible nightmare!"

Jesse knew he wouldn't get any more sleep unless Rachel could unload her anxieties, so he reached over and stroked her hip comfortingly. "What was it about?"

"I dreamed that in my sophomore year, instead of transferring to Carmel to be with you and to get to know Mom better like I did, we broke up and I stayed at McKinley. After that I made one stupid decision after another." She paused, and decided to omit the part where, in the dream, she'd given up her virginity to Finn to make him feel better about himself. That obviously hadn't happened as Jesse would be the first to attest to, but still there was no need to reveal that her dream self had so little self esteem that she'd done something that ridiculous, not to mention disappointing.

Rachel cleared her throat and continued "In my senior year I also got suspended for stuffing a ballot box so that Hummel would win a student election. Because of the suspension I wasn't allowed to compete at Sectionals. I only applied to one college, some weird place called NYADA, and then I choked on my audition for it! But the worst part of the nightmare was when I nearly married Finn right after Regionals. I even told him that maybe his dreams were bigger than mine. I cannot believe I'd be so insane as to be willing to give up my goal of Broadway for him!" Rachel shuddered as she recollected parts of the crazy nightmare. It was positively traumatizing.

"Well, that definitely qualifies as a nightmare." Jesse agreed as he moved closer and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

"I don't know if I can even go back to sleep. I think I'm going to need therapy." Rachel looked back at Jesse with a hopeful expression.

A small smirk played on Jesse's lips. "Therapy? Well, I'm not trained to deal in nightmares, but my gorgeous, talented, sexy wife tells me I'm rather good at physical therapy."

"And your wife is always right." Rachel managed to gasp out as Jesse had already commenced using his lips and hands in all the best therapeutic ways. Although, with such a bad nightmare, Rachel was pretty certain she'd need more therapy in the morning, and likely after lunch too...


	6. Hello

**A/N: Written for the St. Berry Week Day 7 prompt: Hello and inspired by the fact that I really do not like what the writers have turned Rachel into. This is my way of dealing with it. **

**HELLO**

Jesse leaned back in the shadows and quietly observed the girl seated two tables away. Her shoulder length hair was stylish streaked, her makeup, even from a distance, was noticeably overdone, and her outfit left nothing to the imagination. But it was her words and her interaction with those at the table that he was most interested in. Jesse didn't as a rule have a problem with public displays of affection, but even if he hadn't had an emotional attachment to the girl he would have been offended by her public behavior. She and her muscle bound boyfriend were continually groping each other with no concern that other people at nearby tables were looking on with distaste. In fact the couple seemed to derive a great deal of pleasure in shocking everyone.

Even more disturbing (if that was possible) was the attitude of entitlement that hung like a foul air around the entire group. Jesse had grown up around that attitude, been force fed it even, but as he'd matured it had mostly been chipped away. Ironically, it had been this girl that had made him re-evaluate his behavior. This girl, who had made him realize that money and fame weren't the most important things in life; who had shown him that relationships, love, and friendships were of much greater value. The additional setbacks that he'd encountered in his pursuit of his dreams had also humbled him. He might be talented (although only now was he starting to make a name for himself in off Broadway theater and independent films), he might be rich, but he was no longer the cocky, self-centered idiot he had once been.

Suddenly there was an ear splitting shriek and Jesse watched in disbelief as Rachel rose from her seat and threw a complete diva fit. Some poor soul had been jostled just as they were serving at Rachel's table, which had resulted in a drink being spilled. Jesse was sickened by Rachel's ensuing tirade. What had happened to the girl he used to know? This, this was not the Rachel he'd fallen in love with; this girl who was now reveling in her fame and power while threatening someone with losing their job. Unable to take it any longer, Jesse stood up and walked out in disgust, pausing only briefly at the bar to attest to the server's blamelessness in the incident.

On the way back to his apartment, he took stock of his life. He had loved Rachel, of that he was sure. For six years he had carried a torch for her. He hadn't wanted to believe the gossip and stories in the magazines and internet about the rising young ingénue. He didn't want to believe that Rachel could be more concerned about fame and magazine covers than about her professional growth as a performer and honing her craft on stage. Jesse had always believed in Rachel's talent and in her achieving stardom, but not this kind of stardom - where all that was important was popularity, not the quality of work. But now he had seen for himself that the Rachel he once knew was gone; he was in love with somebody that no longer existed. Jesse sighed despondently; he no longer knew what to do with his life. He was at a crossroads without a map or GPS to guide him. Fame, fortune, even love, now just seemed to be merely illusions.

Deciding he needed to get away and clear his head, Jesse unlocked the door to his apartment and made straight for his bedroom; swiftly he began packing. Within fifteen minutes he'd taken everything that was vital for a trip. His last stop was the safe where he grabbed his passport, and some extra cash (just in case). He didn't even debate about which car to take. Sure the sports car was fast and flashy, but as he had no clear destination in mind, he decided the jeep was more practical. Two hours later, New York and Rachel Berry were far behind him. He had only the open road before him and a prayer on his lips that somewhere he'd find what he was looking for: a reason to exist. Jesse kept driving until an strange thick fog descended and forced him to pull over to the side of the road and stop. Grabbing his travel blanket, he tilted back his seat and immediately fell into a deep sleep.

XXX

Picking up the framed photograph, Rachel gazed at man who had irrevocably broken her heart. Her fingers ghosted over the glossy black curls and lingered one last time over those perfect lips. How could someone who was her kindred spirit, a soulmate, betray everything she thought they believed in, striven for? He had so much talent, so much drive but he'd become a fame whore, someone she didn't recognize or know anymore.

She nibbled her lower lip anxiously as she considered how she was going to manage performing with him in the upcoming musical. She knew he had negotiated only a short term contract - in order for him to get his instant gratification from a live audience to tide him over until he got another movie offer. It wouldn't be too long before Jesse would be out of her life for good. But in the meantime she had to find a way to deal with his presence when rehearsals began, followed by a few months worth of performances. She would have to deal with the sight of him slipping away after every show with some new, adoring fan. Male or female, it didn't matter to Jesse; it was all about the fame and adoration.

Rachel wiped the tears off her face and resolved she would not cry anymore. She had come to stay at her Aunt Ruth's house to try and put back together the pieces of her life and heart, not to wallow in pain. Throwing the photo into the waste paper basket, she grabbed her jacket and hat. Within seconds she was down the stairs and out the door.

The morning air was crisp and refreshing; the ground still damp from the unusually heavy fog of the previous night, and Rachel took a deep breath of the clean earthy smell. Maybe she should never go back to the bright lights. She could be the Greta Garbo of her generation, moving to Europe, refusing all publicity and becoming a puzzling legend. Or she could become a recluse in the country, growing flowers and collecting stray cats. She'd gain a reputation of being the local witch and children would whisper about the crazy old woman at the end of the lane. Or...Rachel smiled ruefully and shook her head; her sense of the dramatic always got the best of her. Still, the idea of hiding away for an indefinite period was so tempting. She continued walking aimlessly, her mind playing with different possibilities as she tried to decide what she should do her life, a life that seemed to have lost its purpose. It was as if something had gone terribly wrong in her destiny and she had no idea how to fix it.

XX

Jesse was awakened by the morning sunlight dancing across his eyelids. For a moment he struggled to recall why he was sleeping in his jeep, but then the previous evening's events flooded his brain and he groaned. Moving his seat into an upright position, Jesse glanced around and noted that he was somewhere in open country. Everything was unfamiliar so he reached over to check his location on the GPS; but nothing came up. Frowning, he tried punching various buttons, but to no avail. Oh well, he had nowhere to go and all day to get there. It really didn't make much difference. But he was hungry; he needed to find somewhere to eat and to freshen up.

In the distance Jesse could see someone approaching and he decided to wait until they were alongside and then ask where the nearest town was and where to find a good breakfast. As the person drew nearer, he could tell it was a woman, walking with her head down, seemingly deep in thought. Not wanting to cause any alarm, he figured he'd be less startling if he got out of the vehicle and walked towards her. So he ran his hands quickly through his hair to try and tame the sleep tousled look, then he grabbed his keys and stepped out of the jeep and onto the shoulder of the road. After a quick stretch he started walking towards the woman.

As he drew nearer his heart began to pound in a most peculiar way. There was something about the way she moved and her shape and coloring that was achingly familiar. Jesse stopped suddenly. No, this wasn't possible, it couldn't be. From where he was now standing she looked like Rachel, not the Rachel he'd seen last night, but the Rachel that could have been. Her hair seemed longer, and it was its natural vibrant shade. She was dressed casually in faded jeans and a light jacket. But her head was still down, watching the pavement beneath her feet as she walked, so he couldn't be certain. Surely once he'd seen her face he could dismiss his silly notion that it was Rachel.

Jesse waited a little bit longer then called out "Excuse me, but I seem to be lost. Could you tell me where the nearest town and café are?"

Rachel, jerked from her contemplations, looked up in bewilderment. She had been so deep in thought she'd not even noticed where she was or that there was someone approaching her. But it was the familiar voice that had really triggered her awareness. Her eyes widened in disbelief as she took one look at the man standing a few feet away and then she promptly fainted.

Jesse's gaze had met the woman's only for an instant but it was enough to recognize that it was indeed Rachel. The next thing he knew she had crumpled to the ground. Jesse sprinted over to her. Her face was a ghostly white but she was breathing normally. Removing his jacket, he placed it under her head before dashing back to his jeep to get some bottled water. She was starting to come to by the time he returned and he waited a few moments until she regained consciousness.

"Are you, okay?" Jesse asked anxiously as her eyes flickered open and gazed at him dazedly. Jesse helped her sit up and then offered her the water. He wanted to bombard her with questions. How and why was she here? Why was she so different in appearance from last night? But as she looked too fragile and shaken, he refrained.

She took the water and after several deep sips handed it back. A frown formed between her brows and a hand reached out to tug one of his long curls.

"Are they real?"

Jesse's eyebrows shot up in confusion. Somehow that was the last thing he expected her to say. "Of course they're real, although I admit I'm overdue for a trim." Jesse rain one hand through his hair distractedly then gazed worriedly back at Rachel. "Did you hit your head? Do you know who you are? Who I am?"

"Of course I know who I am. I'm Rachel Barbra Corcoran and you're Jesse Jameson. But I don't understand. You just got your hair cut super short two weeks ago, for the upcoming show. Your hair can't possibly be that long yet."

Jesse Jameson? Rachel Corcoran? What? Obviously she had hit her head and hard. "Maybe I should get you to a doctor, you seem a little confused."

"No, I'm fine. I should have had something to eat before I left the house though." Rachel stood up unsteadily, reluctantly leaning on Jesse for support.

"Well, I can't leave you by yourself in case you do have a concussion. I'll drive you home and make some breakfast. Then we can decide if you need to see a doctor."

Rachel was so confused, first by the length of his hair and now by his behavior. Maybe she had concussed herself and was having some kind of hallucination. Rachel nodded reluctantly. Jesse had never been with her to her aunt's place so he wouldn't know how to get there. "Okay, I'll direct you to the house."

Slowly they made their way back to Jesse's vehicle, and after he had helped her get settled and buckled in, they drove off. Following her concise directions, he soon had her home and settled in a kitchen chair. She obviously had not lost her memory regarding where she was staying, nor her ability to be very detailed in explaining things, Jesse noted with a smile as he followed her precise instructions in preparing green tea and breakfast. But her hair and demeanor were so unlike the woman he'd just seen in New York. He liked this Rachel, he wished she could stay this way, but no doubt once she recovered from the fall, she'd be back to the Rachel he wanted to forget. It would be better for him if that Rachel resurfaced quickly.

After obtaining directions to the bathroom Jesse excused himself for a few moments. On his way back to the kitchen he took the opportunity to see if he could find anything that would trigger her memories. It was then that he spotted the framed photo. It was Rachel's college graduation photo. Her graduation from NYU, that is. Jesse frowned and taking the photo in hand, returned to the kitchen. He placed the photo on the table in front of Rachel and stared down at her perplexedly.

"This says you graduated from NYU."

"Of course I did. You know that. We graduated from Tisch together that year, after you'd transferred from UCLA."

Jesse sat down abruptly across from Rachel. "No, no I didn't. I didn't go to college. Well, I attended UCLA for almost a year, until I dropped out. And you, you attended NYADA."

"NYADA? What is NYADA? I've never heard of it." Rachel shifted uneasily. This was the strangest conversation. Jesse looked like Jesse (well except for the longer hair and the clarity in his eyes) and his voice was Jesse's, but his behavior was very different. He was the Jesse she'd known in high school, the one who'd taken her to junior Prom. The Jesse who she had been so sure was her soulmate, not the Jesse who had reappeared in her life during her final year at Tisch.

"And your name is Rachel Barbra Berry, and I'm Jesse St. James." Jesse continued. Then he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. "Look." Jesse took his driver's license out and shoved it towards Rachel. She picked it up and after reading it carefully, dove into her jacket pocket and produced her wallet and driver's license for him to read.

There was a long moment of silence as they looked at each other incredulously. Jesse's throat went dry and his heart sped up. He had the strangest feeling that somehow the universe had just righted a wrong. He didn't know how or why or what would happen next, but he couldn't wait to find out. Jesse extended his hand across the table and Rachel Corcoran's small hand instinctively grasped it.

"Hello, I'm Jesse St. James. Is it me you're looking for?"


	7. The Berry Effect

**A/N This AU plot bunny hit me when I heard about the Rachel pregnancy scare and my mind jumped ahead to this crazy scenario. I never ended up making it more than a one-shot, so I'm posting it here.  
**

Jesse gathered his course materials together and gave a mental sigh of relief. He had successfully made it through his one week stint as guest teacher at NYADA. More importantly, he would soon be safely away from the various female members of the class, who had made their availability for extracurricular activities all too plainly (and far too often) known to him. Women of all ages being infatuated with him was nothing new. After all, he had that deadly combination of fame, looks and wealth that women seemed to find irresistible. But at the age of forty he had become far too cynical to be snared by the traps so many tried to set for him, and women half his age held no appeal; at least most women half his age.

A prickling sensation at the back of his neck suddenly hit him and he briefly closed his eyes, already knowing she was somewhere near. With a sense of inevitability he looked up from his designer briefcase and met the gaze of the young woman before him.

"Sutton, is there something I can do for you?" Jesse winced inwardly not at his choice of words but rather at the tone in which he'd voiced them. His tone should have sounded somewhat irritated, or maybe condescending, not suggestive, so as soon as the words left his lips he could see her mind quickly consider the more unsuitable possibilities of that utterance. Still Sutton was a cut above her classmates. Although he knew she was attracted to him, she had not been as obvious about it, instead she had seemed to be far more interested in his talent, voice and stories of Broadway than by his looks or fame.

"Mr. St. James, I was hoping that before you leave you could give me some pointers on some new audition pieces I'm working on." Her voice was earnest, betraying no ulterior motives. _  
_

"Of course, if you've got them with you, I can listen to them in the music room next door. The acoustics are better there." Jesse motioned Sutton to proceed ahead of him, as he gathered his briefcase and turned off the lights before leaving the room.

Later that evening Jesse sat in his penthouse apartment and poured himself another scotch. He should never have agreed to Sutton's request. The previous hours spent with her had been far too intoxicating and when she'd kissed him goodnight… Jesse shook his head in disgust; he had no right to be with someone that young. Sure she was legal, but he was also at least twice her age. What was wrong with him?

He took another long gulp of his drink. It had to be the Rachel Berry effect - this almost headiness that was enveloping him. It was a feeling that he'd only experienced once before, when he'd fallen for the talented Rachel Berry. Up until now, no other person had ever made him respond that way. Aside from her innate talent and beautiful voice, Sutton Westberry also had the same expressive brown eyes that Rachel had captivated him with. But really, Jesse mused, otherwise, there was little physical resemblance to Rachel. Sutton's hair was a glorious red and cut stylishly short, her nose was almost too perfect, and she exuded confidence, in her looks, not just her talent. He was just uncertain as to whether it was a physical attraction, or if it was her talent that he found so exciting after having to deal with so many inferior performers over the years.

No, Sutton was very sure of what she wanted in life and she'd made it abundantly clear by the end of the evening that she wanted him, and he'd so nearly given in. Jesse shifted uncomfortably. After Rachel had chosen Finn over him, he'd walled off what was left of his heart and swore to never let anyone close enough to break it again. Sure he'd had companions, but he'd chosen the Clooney method. The women he bedded were under contract. They got plenty of perks plus a degree of fame, and when their contract was up he'd moved on. That had been his life, and it had seemed to be enough until he'd walked into that classroom, until he'd heard her sing for the first time; the way she challenged him every day with her intelligent and questing mind. Jesse growled in disgust and downing the rest of his scotch only just managed not to smash the glass against the wall. Already he knew he was not going to have a good night's sleep, especially as he'd agreed to meet with her again tomorrow to help her re-arrange the two songs she'd finally chosen.

xxxxxxx

A slight furrow crossed Sutton's brow as she touched up her makeup in the ladies room. Things hadn't been going quite as she'd expected. An involuntary, delicious shiver shot through her entire body as she momentarily recalled the taste and feel of Jesse's lips on hers the previous evening. They had been just as perfect as she'd dreamt them to be so it was too bad he had pulled away so soon. Surely he had to sense the way sparks seemed to fly whenever they were near each other so it must be her age that was holding him back. The age difference didn't matter to her; she and Jesse would be fabulous together of that she was certain and she'd been looking forward to continuing her campaign to convince him of that fact but today's lunch had changed her plans. She'd gotten a glimpse of the lonely man behind the facade of arrogance and self-confidence and discovered he wasn't the womanizing star she'd presumed him to be. She had found herself growing more and more intrigued by the man behind the mask and wanted to get to know him better. It was no longer about her satisfying a long standing infatuation and a physical attraction. Shutting her purse with a decisive snap she returned to the dining room.

Sliding gracefully into her seat she asked in a more business like tone "My apartment is only a few blocks away, I thought we could walk there and you can hear my revamped selections."

Jesse smiled somewhat cynically at Sutton's change of demeanor. Apparently the flirting had been discarded for what she really was after. Sutton wanted his help on the rung up the ladder to success. All the chat the previous day and today at lunch had merely been to soften him up for her pitch, and he wondered how long it would take her to ask for his help in opening doors for further auditions; just how far she'd be willing to go to obtain his help. No, she was just like the rest of her classmates, except that she was far more talented. As he paid for the lunch a part of him was still hoping she'd prove him wrong; that she wouldn't try to sell herself. In any case, he had no intention of bedding her.

Once at her apartment it became strictly business as Jesse helped her hone her audition pieces and before they knew it the rest of the afternoon had flown by. They celebrated by eating Thai takeaway and conversation again flowed easily. It was as they were starting on the second bottle of wine after having eaten Thai takeaway, that Jesse asked her about her parents.

Sutton shrugged indifferently. "Well, there's not much to tell really. My parents are both teachers. I have no brothers or sisters and I came to New York to live with my uncle when I was sixteen."

Jesse set his wine glass down abruptly and turned to her in surprise. "You left home at sixteen?"

"Dad and I don't really get along." She snorted derisively. "I couldn't be the sweet, obedient small town girl he wanted me to be. I know what I want, and that's to perform. He said I was so like my mother, as if that were a bad thing. But personally I can't see what he meant. She may have a brilliant singing voice but other than that we are nothing alike. Mom always does whatever Dad says. He's super possessive and controlling and I guess she just figures it's easier to go along with his way."

"That's not right. I mean, I've never been married, but I always thought marriage should be a partnership. " Jesse frowned as a thought suddenly struck him. "He's not. I mean it's none of my business, but he's not violent is he? That's not why you had to leave home?"

"Well, he does have a bad temper but most of the time he just goes to the gym and punches it out there; I learned to stay out of his way. He's pretty predictable and I'm smarter than he is. I'd stay at a friend's house until he calmed down, and like I said, Mom knows not to rock the boat, so they don't fight. In fact they don't really even talk to each other much. But it really sickens me how she lets him walk all over her. And then when I found out." Sutton stopped and chewed her lower lip nervously. She really hadn't planned on telling Jesse all of this, but somehow it just seemed right.

Jesse leaned back and waited for Sutton to continue. "You found out?" he gently prodded her to continue.

"Well, it turns out Dad isn't really my dad. Mom and he had broken up and she was seeing someone else – someone she discovered too late was a bad choice. Then she found out she was pregnant and Dad took her back. Sometimes I think that's why Mom never challenges him. She seems to feel that she owes him for raising her illegitimate child as his own. But he and I have never been really close and when I found out he wasn't really my dad, we had a huge argument. That's when I went to live with my Uncle Kurt. He's a fashion designer and he's also involved in the amateur theater scene scene. We get along really well. Are you close to your parents?"

"No. Well, let's just say they were never around much. Social butterflies the both of them. More concerned about money and image than their children. Even now we rarely see each other, they have their lives and I have mine. "

"Is that why you're a loner?"

"Loner?" Jesse sipped his wine contemplatively. "Is that how I seem to you?"

"Yes." Sutton slid closer and laid her head on his shoulder.

The wine was having its effect on Jesse and Sutton was disturbing his thought processes. He should have watched more carefully his intake, but it was too late now. "I'm not going to regret this am I? You're not secretly working for the National Enquirer?" He asked only half jokingly.

"No! I would never. That would be so wrong." Sutton looked up at him with genuine hurt in her eyes. "I want to really get to know you. You're attracted to me, I'm attracted to you. Why do you keep pushing me away? And don't tell me I'm too young. I've been fending for myself for years. "

"It's not that I don't find you attractive." Jesse admitted. "Or that I'm not tempted. But you are young and your entire life is before you. You need to find someone who is closer to your age. I mean, if you want me to help you, mentor you, I'd be happy to. But you don't have to sleep with me for me to help you."

"I'm not here with you because I'm trying to sleep my way to the top." Sutton pulled away in disgust. "And if that's what you really think of me"

Jesse quickly reached out and grabbed her wrist to stop her from getting up. "No, that's not what I think of you. It's just, there are many out there who do and I've become cynical as to why someone half my age is interested in me."

Sutton sank back down on the coach. "Okay." She nodded. "I can see that. But you are hot, and talented and sexy and any woman in right mind, no matter what her age, would want you. But there's got to be some other reason you keep your distance. Even with the women I've seen you with on tv or in magazines, you are always wearing the show face. If it wasn't the parents, then it has to be some girl that broke your heart. Who was she?"

Jesse winced. Very few people could tell when he was wearing his showface, it had become almost second nature to him; Sutton was far too perceptive.

"Yes, there was a girl." He finally admitted. "She had this incredible voice and a drive to be a star; before I even realized it, I'd fallen for her. But I was foolish and I hurt her and although I tried to make amends, I don't think she ever really forgave me. Or maybe she never really loved me at all; maybe it was always that jock boyfriend that had her heart and I was just a momentary distraction for the times when he dumped her. If I was just someone she used to make him jealous, well then, I guess she succeeded. They got engaged and since I've never heard her mentioned in theatrical circles I'm assuming she really did give up her dreams and ambitions for him."

The sadness tinged with bitterness was evident in every word he spoke and Sutton felt the tears well up in her eyes. "That's horrible! What was so special about him?"

"Nothing. Maybe I could have understood it better if he had been talented or handsome or remotely intelligent, but he was just a bumbling idiot who had two left feet and a mediocre voice. He didn't understand her; he didn't treat her the way she deserved to be treated. Yet, she threw away her chance at success and stardom, which she had been working for since she was a child, just to be with him. I always thought the two of us would take New York by storm. I thought she was the one. I guess I really didn't know her after all. "Jesse was ashamed to find his eyes were becoming misty with unshed tears and he looked down and blinked rapidly. Too much wine always led to melancholy which was why he rarely drank this much of it.

It was all so tragic. Sutton's heart ached in sympathy, but she knew he didn't want to be pitied.

"Well, maybe someday, you'll find a woman who appreciates you properly. You deserve to find love, Jesse. "

"Yeah, maybe, someday. Anyway, enough of the pity party. I should go."

"No, please don't. I was hoping you'd stay and watch a movie with me" She had originally thought they could watch 'Funny Girl' or maybe "Les Miserables" or "Moulin Rouge" but considering the current mood something far more upbeat was called for. She jumped up and quickly selected the one she wanted. "I love classics. Besides it has Marilyn Monroe in it. How could you turn down Marilyn?"

Jesse didn't take much persuading. He really didn't want to go home to an empty apartment with old wounds and memories fresh in his mind. "You're right, how could I possibly turn down Marilyn Monroe?"

xxxxxx

The next morning Jesse awoke with a start. Someone was making too much noise. He'd been having a dream where he and Sutton had been recreating the tango scene from "Some Like It Hot" and then things really had got heated and wait a minute, that had not been a dream. This was not his bed. Jesse groaned. Just then he heard the voice directly outside the bedroom. A distraught voice and one that was definitely far too loud in his opinion.

"Barbra, baby. I hope you'll forgive me for arriving at such short notice but I didn't know where else to go."

And who was Barbra? Jesse's eyes focused on the woman lying beside him long enough to assure himself that he had indeed ended up in Sutton's bed last night when the bedroom door opened and the voice took form.

"Barbra?" The voice sounded somewhat shocked and embarrassed.

"Mummy?"

"I'm so sorry, baby I phoned and texted but you didn't reply and .. well, I'll just." The petite brunette flushed red in embarrassment and she glanced apologetically at her daughter. She was about to make a speedy exit, when her gaze moved briefly to the man in bed with her daughter and she gasped. "Jesse? "

_This had to be a crazy nightmare. There could not be one Rachel Berry currently standing next to the bed, could there? _"Rachel? What are you doing here?" Jesse turned his pounding head too quickly towards Sutton and he winced "and why is she calling you Barbra?"

"Jesse, how could you do this to my daughter? To me?" Rachel raged.

No doubt about it, it was definitely Rachel. "Do what to you? Would someone please explain to me what is going on?! And once again who the hell is Barbra?"

Sutton was busy staring in astonishment at Rachel. Never had she'd seen her mother like this. She was actually quite beautiful in a temper. Finally she managed to drag her eyes away long enough to respond to Jesse's query. "I'm Barbra. Barbra Jessica Hudson in fact, although my stage name is Sutton Westberry. I'm a big fan of Sutton Foster and the Westberry is a combination of sorts of my parents names.

Jesse moaned and dropped his head back onto the pillow. He childishly wished he could yank the sheet up over his head and make the world just disappear. But, he was Jesse St. James and someone had to at least act like at adult, so it wasn't an option.

"I don't know what you think you're trying to prove, but I want you out of my daughter's bedroom NOW, Jesse St. James!" Rachel ranted.

"Are you certain you don't want to leave the room first, Rachel?"

Rachel was now tapping her foot impatiently. "I said NOW, Jesse!"

"Okay, but don't say I didn't give you the option, " Jesse smirked as he threw back the sheet and rose from the bed before sauntering over to pick up his pants and shirt from where they lay on the carpet.

"OH!" was the only word Rachel uttered before she was rendered momentarily speechless. Suddenly she realized her daughter was watching her and Jesse with extreme interest. "Fine, I'll just be outside the room." She mumbled as she quickly made her escape.

Sutton couldn't help it any longer and she broke into peals of laughter. "I feel like I just fell into the middle of a British farce," she managed to gasp out.

Jesse sent her a disapproving look; his façade of calm now completely absent. "You might find it funny, but I don't. Do you have any idea?..." His voice trailed off and he ran his hands agitatedly through his already disheveled curls. "But you don't do you?"

"You mean did I know you and Mummy knew each other? Of course not." Sutton watched as Jesse get dressed and smiled briefly in satisfaction. Jesse St. James was definitely all and more than she had hoped he would be, although currently he was obviously nearly as flustered as her mother.

She pondered upon that for a moment. Her mother hadn't been upset about finding a man in her daughter's bed; it had been the fact that it was Jesse that had made her go ballistic. She'd also seen the look her mother had given Jesse when he'd stood up. Yes, there had been shock at his audacity tinged with embarrassment, but there had been something more. More like appreciation and maybe hunger? Desire? It was difficult to say exactly because her mother had shown more passion in the past few minutes than Sutton had seen in a very long time; which prompted her to ask her next question. "Just how well do you know my mother? Did you sleep with her too?"

"What? No, thank god. That would make this even more uncomfortable than it already is." Jesse muttered as he retrieved a missing shoe from under the bed.

"But you obviously know each other." Sutton persisted. Her mind was rapidly sifting through the events that had just transpired and her curiosity was piqued.

"Yes, a very, very long time ago we knew each other." Jesse grabbed Sutton's dressing gown from the hook on the door and tossed it at the girl. "Now, Sutton or Barbra, or whoever you are, that's all I'm going to say about it. If you want details you'll have to ask Rachel, but maybe you should check your messages first. Your mother was upset even before she stumbled upon this 'farce' as you so aptly named it. "

Sutton quickly grabbed her cell and turned it on. Sure enough there were a dozen messages from her mother. She quickly read the first text. "OMG! Mom has left Dad."

"Great. Just what I needed to hear." Sarcasm fairly dripped from Jesse's voice. "I presume the next one bursting through the door will be an angry and belligerent Finn Hudson. What a perfect day this is turning into."

"Well, Dad doesn't exactly know where I live. I kind of blacklisted him at school, so even if someone claiming to be my Dad were to contact the school, they aren't allowed to give out my address without my permission. Besides, no one knows me as Barbra Hudson. That's why Mom came here to hide out. Knowing Dad, once he discovers Mom is gone he'll go straight to Uncle Kurt's place, and he'd never tell Dad. "

Uncle Kurt. Of course it would be Kurt Hummel as her uncle. Jesse wanted to pound his already aching head against the wall. Great, he'd have to deal with Rachel, Finn and Kurt. The day was just getting better and better by the minute. It was time he got out of this ludicrous situation, but first he'd better face the angry woman who was most likely wearing a trench in the hallway flooring with her angry pacing.

He took a deep breath and yanked the bedroom door open, and Rachel nearly fell into the room. She had obviously been eavesdropping. "Well, if I'd known you had your ear pressed against the door, Rachel, I'd have given you something more interesting to listen to."

Rachel glared at him. "What is wrong with you, Jesse? You're old enough to be her father! Did you do this to spite me? Take revenge, is that it?"

Jesse grabbed Rachel's arm and pulled her towards the living room. "Look, first of all I had absolutely no idea she was your daughter." Rachel gave a snort of disbelief but Jesse disregarded it and continued. "Would you listen to me for once? Other than vocally, and maybe the eyes, the two of you are nothing alike! And just how exactly was I supposed to connect a Sutton Westberry to you? "

Rachel nibbled on her lower lip and considered Jesse's words for a moment. Could he really not have known? She tried to be objective and give him the benefit of the doubt. "Okay, I grant you we don't resemble that much now. " She then dug into her purse and pulled out her phone, quickly bringing up a picture of herself and Barbra from 6 years ago. "But if you'd seen her like this?"

Reaching for the phone, Jesse stared at the photo carefully. Sutton's hair was long and dark, her chin still had a childish roundness to it and her nose was completely different. She was quite obviously Rachel's daughter, but it appeared that since that photo had been taken Sutton had done more than change her name.

"Yes, I grant you that I would have spotted it in an instant. But she looks nothing like that now; you have to give me that at least, Rach." The old endearing form of her name slipped out automatically without Jesse even noticing he'd said it.

Rachel nodded albeit somewhat unwillingly. "I guess I still see my little girl, but you are right; she doesn't look like that anymore. But really, Jesse? Sleeping with someone half your age? "

"It's not my normal behavior I assure you." The look of skepticism that Rachel shot at him made Jesse grind his teeth. "Oh come on, Rachel. When have you ever seen me with a far younger woman in the tabloids or anywhere?"

Rachel sniffed scornfully. "I don't read about you in the tabloids. I haven't followed your career or anyone elses either. "

"She hasn't, Jesse" Sutton had decided it was time to make an entrance. "I always found it strange that she wouldn't watch any entertainment shows or read the celebrity news. In fact any discussion about it was a forbidden topic. "

Jesse turned towards Sutton, a look of complete disbelief on his face. "Your mother is anti-show business?"

"Totally." Sutton flopped casually down on the sofa and deliberately stretched out her long shapely legs, carefully watching for Jesse's reaction. As she had predicted, he didn't take notice at all, he was far more interested in her words. "I had to beg and plead to take music and singing lessons and mom finally allowed me to join the drama club but it was not to be discussed at home. That's another reason I left home. I was being artistically stifled. Do you have any idea how hard it is to be around people who don't understand your need to perform?"

Jesse sank down in the nearest chair. He was momentarily in a state of shock. "Do you have any idea of how talented your mother is? How she lived and breathed for performing? How she nearly single-handedly led her show choir to a National championship? Or the fact that at fifteen she could belt out Barbra Streisand nearly flawlessly?"

"Uncle Kurt said a few things but I thought he was exaggerating so I didn't really believe him." Sutton looked at her mother with fresh eyes. "Is that true? You really were that good?"

Rachel sat down beside her daughter. "Well, I did get into NYADA and I won the winter showcase in my first year. But that was a long time ago, and well, your Dad that is to say, Finn didn't want you to grow up with unrealistic ideas, so we decided to"

"You mean Finn ordered you to, and you meekly obeyed!" Sutton angrily cut off her mother's explanation.

A look of pain crossed Rachel's face. "Okay, you're right. Finn said it was best if we just forgot the whole New York business and concentrated on making a home for you. It was easier not to fight him about it, and besides he agreed to raise you as his daughter. My career was over anyway. "

"That's a load of BS, and you know it." Jesse interjected. "You didn't have to marry Finn. He wasn't even Sutton's real father. You didn't even have to keep the baby, but in any case your fathers would have supported you in any way they could. You were just too frightened of failing in the theatrical world, too unsure of your own talent, so you took your pregnancy as an excuse to drop out. Congratulations on tethering yourself to a loser instead of facing the challenges of making it in the theatrical world. The Rachel Berry I knew, took no prisoners, would have relished a fight to the top. What happened to the girl I knew? Or thought I knew. "

"I don't know." Rachel whispered softly.

Jesse sighed then continued in a milder tone. "I'm sorry, that was perhaps overly harsh and maybe Shelby and I share some of the blame for your loss of confidence. At least you can be very proud of your daughter. She's going to be everything you could have been. She's got the talent, the drive and the confidence; along with that she's also a caring person."

Rachel was crying softly. "You're right. She's what I should have been; she doesn't live in a fantasy world like I did.

"It's not too late for you, Rachel. You just need to dig down deep and find the love of performing and the drive you shelved away. Figure out who Rachel Berry is aside from being an appendage of Finn Hudson. You aren't a lovesick teenager anymore, its time you realized that." Jesse's voice was once again brusque. He hated to see Rachel like this but she needed to wake up. Having said his piece, Jesse stood up. "Now as much as this has been an incredibly illuminating morning, it's time I left. I'm sure you two have plenty to discuss."

Sutton got up and walked with Jesse to the door. "I'm sorry you got pulled into the family's dirty laundry. I guess it's too much to hope for that I'll see you again? But can we at least keep in touch by phone?"

"It's not your fault." Jesse sighed and lightly brushed her cheek with his knuckles. "Last night, shouldn't have happened. I drank too much, and I allowed temptation to overrule my better judgment." He pulled out a card and handed it to her. "You are an amazing person. If you need help or just want to talk, give me a call. But it's best we don't meet again, especially considering the history I have with your parents. If there is one thing I know for a certainty, Finn would go berserk if he knew we'd slept together let alone that Rachel had seen me again. If he's still as impulsive and prone to violence as you say, it's in both your Mother's and your best interests that my name and the past few hours never come up."

The young woman before him nodded. "Okay. I understand. But I don't regret anything either, and I'd like to think we can be friends. I enjoyed our conversations a lot. You understand me better than anyone I've ever met. Is there any chance you might happen to have any of my mother's performances saved? I'd really like to see them."

Jesse's mouth quirked up in a smile. How astute of her to realize that he'd been unable to toss any of her mother's performances even if he hadn't looked at them in years. "I'll have to get them out of storage, and I'll send you a copy. I promise."

**A/N Part of my problem in continuing this story was deciding who I wanted Jesse to end up with. ** :-)


End file.
